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Angelina Jolie was topless on a terrace in Maryland Villa at the Cannes Festival ordeal. We are getting a lot of celebrity nude shots from this Cannes Festival saga. These pictures sucks ass, and are grainy as hell too. Not even a clear shot of her nipples. But I know some people out there wanna see this crap. So here ya go. Hopefully we’ll get the clear edition when the paparazzi dude stop wacking while holding the camera as he take the picture. Oh! These photos are of a preggo chick, sure she is one of the hottest women in the World but she is very pregnant now. So I was not going to post them but for all you that like to see a pregnant woman topless you’ll enjoy these. You’re also probably the same people who hide outside in bushes with special long range lenses, waiting for the moment a girl walks on her patio topless so you can take photos of her to get off to, or in this case, sell to magazines. But I don’t want to judge, I thank them of their hard work.

————————————– Angelina Jolie (born Angelina Jolie Voight on June 4, 1975 in Los Angeles, California, United States) is an American film actor and a Goodwill Ambassador for the UN Refugee Agency. She is often cited by popular media as one of the world’s most beautiful women and her off-screen life is widely reported. She has received three Golden Globe Awards, two Screen Actors Guild Awards, and an Academy Award. Though she made her screen debut as a child alongside her father Jon Voight in the 1982 film Lookin’ to Get Out, Jolie’s acting career began in earnest a decade later with the low budget production Cyborg 2 (1993). Her first leading role in a major film was in Hackers (1995). She starred in the critically acclaimed biographical films George Wallace (1997) and Gia (1998), and won an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actress for her performance in the drama Girl, Interrupted (1999). Jolie achieved international fame as a result of her portrayal of videogame heroine Lara Croft in Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2001), and since then has established herself as one of the best-known and highest-paid actresses in Hollywood. She had her biggest commercial success with the action-comedy Mr. & Mrs. Smith (2005). Divorced from actors Jonny Lee Miller and Billy Bob Thornton, Jolie currently lives with actor Brad Pitt, in a relationship that has attracted worldwide media attention. Jolie and Pitt have three adopted children, Maddox, Pax, and Zahara, as well as a biological daughter, Shiloh. Jolie has promoted humanitarian causes throughout the world, and is noted for her work with refugees through UNHCR.

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Danica Patrick became the first woman to win an IndyCar race this weekend by taking the checkered flag at the Indy Japan 300 on Sunday. It was her 50th career start. Yahoo! News says:

Her owner was ecstatic, insisting more victories await. Her family could not congratulate her enough. All of which made Patrick a bit teary. “When it actually happened, maybe it was a little anticlimactic,” she said. “Then the emotions came out and that was a little girly of me.” Win No. 1 was a long time coming. Patrick finished a career-best seventh in the standings last year when her best finish was second in the race at Detroit’s Belle Isle. Her first IndyCar race was in 2005 at Homestead-Miami. “I’ve been asked so many times when and if I can win my first race,” she said. “And, finally, no more of those questions.”

Her very sexy FHM pictures.

Danica Patrick, 26 years old, became the first girl in IndyCar history on Sunday to win the Indy Japan 300, after the top contenders were forced to pit for fuel in the final laps. Patrick finished only 5.8594 seconds ahead of pole-sitter Helio Castroneves. Patrick said:

“It’s a long time coming. Finally. It was a fuel strategy race, but my team called it perfectly for me. I knew I was on the same strategy as Helio and when I passed him for the lead, I couldn’t believe it. This is fabulous. I knew there was a good reason for coming to Japan. I want to thank my team, the fans and everyone who supported me.”

Patrick received some kinds words from Michael Andretti, co-owner of Andretti Green Racing, who said:

“I think Danica is such a fantastic person, and I’m thrilled for her that the monkey is finally off of her back. We have all believed in her, and she proved today that she is a winner. Frankly, I think this is the first of many.”

Castroneves, who Patrick took the lead from, graciously acknowledged Patrick’s win:

“With five laps to go, I was saving fuel. When Danica passed me, I realized she was the leader. She did a great job, passed me fair and square and that shows you how competitive our series is.”

Congrats! The endorsement contracts are going to really start pouring in now!

Women can’t drive, so that makes this historical feat even more impressive. I mean, this wasn’t a pie cook-off, Danica Patrick actually won a race. When asked if he thought she could win, her crew chief said, “When she put her makeup on before she got in the car, we all just had a good feeling.”

Oh, relax. It’s a joke. Congratulations, Danica. You are Always Number One to Us because none of the Other Racers Have Tits.

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Britney Spears causes three car accident

Britney Spears caused a minor three car accident on Saturday night. While driving with her bodyguard on the 101 freeway in L.A., the singer rear-ended a Nissan 350Z which in turn rear-ended the vehicle in front of it. Highway patrol officers administered a field sobriety test on Britney, which turned out negative. No injuries were reported. TMZ says:

We spoke with the guy she hit, who says before the accident, he was admiring the white Mercedes and the woman putting on makeup while driving it. It wasn’t until after she hit him at an estimated 10-15 MPH that he realized the woman was Britney. The man also says he wasn’t sure if she was still putting on makeup at the time of the crash. (Source)

I hope Britney’s bodyguard is receiving some kind of hazard pay when she decides to go for a spin. Or at least one of those bear suits. Poor guy. Screw all those Alaskan crab boats, Discover Channel should put a cameraman in Britney’s back seat. “Tune in Monday nights to see when the world of an insane former pop star collides with the world full of red lights and — ahh holy shit you almost hit that dog!”

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Penelope Cruz hung out with Javier Bardem in France over Easter weekend. She in her bikini, he in his trunks. They made out on the balcony and relaxed in sun chairs lazily reading side by side. Later, they probably ordered room service which they put on their black AMEX card. After a lavish meal of oysters, caviar and chocolate covered strawberries, they most likely finished the night with mind blowing sex after which their naked bodies collapsed on a bed made of crumpled $100 bills and the fur of endangered pandas. Of course, I only tell you this to remind you that your life isn’t nearly as fantastic as theirs. Loser.

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