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Once upon a time, Helena Christensen was the object of every man’s desire. Helena Christensen was the biggest shit back in the day. She was part of that whole 90’s Supermodel thing. You know, when it seemed there were only 5 models in the entire world? Those days were the late 90s. Nowadays, the Dutch Danish (sorry, good people of Denmark) Supermodel is bit older, but still rockin’ the hot bod that made her famous, as these Helena Christensen topless bikini pictures, taken in Miami with her boyfriend, Interpol singer Paul Banks, will attest.

Oh yeah, I almost forget, Helena Christensen is topless. And she still has a great ass, still tight and all. Helena Christensen was caught sunning topless in a sexy little bikini and she’s decided to let her tits out to tan like every good Euopean girl should. Of course, these pictures would be a lot sexier if Helena didn’t have so much damn sun tan lotion smeared all over her face. Since starring in the video that cured ED, Helena Christensen hasn’t done much that we’ve seen, but here she is with her Miami yesterday getting freaky with her boyfriend.

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Helena Christensen (born December 25, 1968 in Copenhagen, Denmark) is a Danish supermodel.

She stepped into the limelight in 1986 by claiming the title of Miss Denmark at age eighteen, and representing her country at the Miss Universe pageant. This provided an invaluable springboard to launch herself as an international model. She left her home soon afterwards to pursue modeling in Paris.

Christensen is considered to be one of the more prominent supermodels of the 1990s. She has appeared on many magazine covers and fashion campaigns. She was in the Victoria’s Secret catalog and in their television commercials as one of the signature Angels, along with supermodels Tyra Banks, Karen Mulder, Daniela Pestova, Rebecca Romijn, and Stephanie Seymour.

In 1991, she starred in the music video for Chris Isaak’s song “Wicked Game”. In the video, she is depicted as Isaak’s lover. Christensen and Isaak were both topless for much of the video, though her nudity is relatively concealed with clever camera angles. It was decided that full frontal nudity would not be suitable for mainstream release. Viewers still reacted to Christensen’s sexually suggestive performance, and the video was later featured on MTV’s “Sexiest Video of All-Time”. This video was voted #4 on VH1’s 50 Sexiest Video Moments and voted #13 on VH1’s 100 Greatest Videos.

Christensen is signed to Independent Models in London and 1 Model Management in New York City.

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Dita Von Teese once again, displaying her curves to advantage in a deep purple gown. Dita Von Teese is shown below at amfARs Cinema Against AIDS 2008 during Cannes Film Festival. Not sure if Dita knew what she was flashing or not here… she is known for her burlesque shows, but not usually without being paid a lot of money. Here Dita von Teese is posing for something in Cannes…but we don’t care. Nice upskirt oops picture, even if she is wearing panties this time. Is the dress a little see through? I think so! Why would Marilyn Manson cheat on her? I bet she would want another girl to join in on the fun.

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Dita Von Teese (born Heather Renée Sweet on September 28, 1972 in West Branch , Michigan, U.S.) is a popular American burlesque artist, model and actress.

She is one of the instigators of the burlesque revival and has been a considerable factor in bringing burlesque to mainstream attention. Her fame increased during her relationship with Marilyn Manson, to whom she was married from 2005 to 2007.

Von Teese began her career in a local strip club when she was nineteen. Disappointed with the lack of originality in all the other strippers’ acts, Von Teese created a vintage-inspired outfit, with beehive hairstyle and elbow-length gloves coupled with a basque and seamed stockings, piquing the interest of the clientele.

It was during this time at the strip club that she began some glamour modeling, before she eventually became a fetish model. Her retro pin-up look, frequently emulating Bettie Page in photo shoots, set her apart from most other fetish models.

Her official website, often referred to as one of the first model sites on the internet, was created in 1992. Von Teese has maintained meticulous care to own the copyright to the majority of her images, very aware of what became of models, such as Bettie Page, who did not.

Von Teese achieved some level of recognition in the fetish world as a tightlacer. Through the wearing of a corset for many years, she had reduced her natural waistline to 22 inches, and can be laced down as far as 16 and a half inches. A diminutive person already, Von Teese stands at only 5′3″ and weighs 105 pounds.

Von Teese appeared on a number of fetish magazine covers, including Bizarre and Marquis . It was around this time when she appeared, bound and partially suspended, on the cover of Midori’s book, The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage

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Mario Lopez aka Slater hit the beach in Miami this weekend and these are only going up because his girlfriend’s top came off in a beautiful nipple slip moment. His girlfriend is Karina Smirnoff, his partner on Dancing With The Stars. Here is the photos of Karina Smirnoff having some fun with Mario Lopez at the beach and getting a little nipple action while he’s at it. Slater and Karina attempted to pull off some dance moves in the ocean until Karina’s bare nipple hit him in the nose. Slater responded by dumping her ass face first into the sea. All, while screaming, “Ew! EW! Ohmygod ohmygod it touched my nose! Now I know it’s easy to make fun of Mario because he’s on the same level of cheesiness as Ryan Seacrest, but the reality is that most of you guys haven’t been that close to a women’s nipple before. So the real joke is on you. But dumb ass Mario had his eyes shut the whole time. Say bye bye to obscurity Karina Smirnoff because you are now a star with nipple flashing like this wet boobs moment. Click on pictures to enlarge.

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Karina Smirnoff (Russian: Карина Смирнова) is a world champion professional dancer from Kharkiv, Ukraine. She is a five-time U.S. National Champion, World Trophy Champion, and Asian Open Champion. Smirnoff has taken the title at the UK Open, is a three times champion at the US Open, two time champion at the Asian Open, five time champion at the Dutch Open, five time US National Professional Champion, ranked 2nd in the World, and took second at the British Open Blackpool Dance Festival. She is “the first woman to ever make the British Professional Final with three different partners.” 

She was a performer on the third season of the ABC series Dancing with the Stars with celebrity partner Mario López. They finished in second place, losing to the team of Emmitt Smith and Cheryl Burke. Karina returned on the show on March 19, 2007 for Season 4, this time partnered with Billy Ray Cyrus, country singer and Hannah Montana star. The couple was the eighth to be eliminated from the competition on May 8, 2007. Her partner for Season 5 of the show was current five-division world champion boxer, Floyd Mayweather Jr.. On October 16th, 2007, Karina and Floyd were the fourth couple eliminated from competition. She returned for season 6, partnered with singer Mario. 

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The Cannes Film Festival begins this week, and Katie Price is there for some reason vacationing, she must be on vacation. She could not have anything to do with the film festival unless she has a new sex tape. I don not think sex tapes count at the Cannes Film Festival. So Katie Price decided to do a little topless sunbathing while vacationing in Cannes. She just had a breast reduction so now we can see how they look semi normally and not the usual 34 triple HHH monster breasts she was logging around a few months ago. But still it is better looking then that other topless English chick vacationing in Cannes that looks like a fat boy, whats her face Lily Allen.

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Katie André (née Price; born May 22, 1978 in Brighton, England) is an English Glamour model, television personality, magazine columnist and businesswoman also known as Jordan. Her personal life is regularly featured in British tabloids and celebrity-based magazines. GutterUncensored.com

Her decision to start modeling came after a friend suggested she have some professional photographs done. The pictures were sent to a modeling agency in London, and to her surprise, the agency invited her into their studios for a photo shoot and to discuss a contract. Within weeks she began appearing on ‘Page 3′ of the The Sun newspaper (topless modeling). It was at this time that she assumed the name “Jordan” when somebody in the photoshoot disapproved her using her real name and felt Jordan would be best suited for her.

Although she was already a well-established model, with frequent appearances on Page 3 and in men’s lifestyle magazines to her credit, Jordan still had a feeling of insecurity about her breast size, and believed that implants would make her look better. Her parents, friends, and photographers with whom she had worked were against the idea. Nevertheless, the operation went ahead, and her cup size increased from a B to an E. She has stated that she “always felt that [she] looked flat-chested when [she] stood next to other girls on the glamour circuit”. Her choice to “go under the knife” was a definitive factor in her retirement from Page 3 topless modeling for The Sun, which had recently decided on a “natural beauty” policy, requiring all its models to be ” silicone-free”.

Jordan has also appeared on the covers of FHM, Maxim, Nuts, Front, Zoo Weekly, Sky, Esquire, Loaded, and Ice magazines.

In an attempt to cross over from modeling to other areas, Jordan auditioned for a part on the television series Baywatch in 1998, guest presented The Big Breakfast and played herself in an episode of Dream Team.

Jordan (now preferring to be known to the public as Katie Price while not modeling) began 2004 by appearing on the reality TV series I’m a Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here!, alternately falling out with John Lydon and flirting in the jungle with singer Peter Andre whom she eventually married. Price appeared on Top Gear’s Star in a Reasonably Priced Car on May 23, 2004. She completed the lap in 1:52s. She also made a cameo appearance playing herself in an episode of the television drama series Footballers’ Wives and appeared in the programme Jordan Gets Even for Five.

In October 2006, an article was published in The Daily Mail called The Chav Rich List. Price and her husband Peter Andre were ranked at #2, second only to David Beckham and Victoria Beckham. The article reported that with an estimated fortune of £30 million and rising, Price currently stands as one of the richest women in Britain.

In December 2007, Price underwent surgery in the U.S. to reduce the size of her breast implants. However, she was not happy with the size and look of them, so she is returning to the U.S. in July 2008 to have them reduced further. In early 2008 Price revealed she would be taking her husband’s surname when they renewed their vows.

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