Do you agree with their choices or is someone else more deserving?
#1
Sarah Jessica Parker
Few months ago Maxim magazine dubbed what it considered “The Five Most Unsexiest Women Alive.” And Sarah Jessica Parker topped the list.
Maxim on why she’s unsexy: “How the hell did this Barbaro-faced broad manage to be the least sexy woman in a group of very unsexy women and still star on a show with “sex” in the title? Pull your skirt down, Secretariat, we rather ride Chris Noth.”
Wait. So why was she deemed the “unsexiest?”
#2
Amy Winehouse
The ‘Rehab’ singer’s “translucent skin, rat’s nest mane and lashes that look more like surgically attached bats” weren’t enough to put her on top — or, rather the bottom.
Where You´ve Seen Her Unsexy: Onstage, offstage, and in the tabloids after cleaving herself and her husband
Why She´s Unsexy: When we first heard this chick boast about her reluctance to go to rehab we thought, Now there´s a girl we can party with! But upon beholding her openly hemorrhaging translucent skin, rat´s nest mane and lashes that look more like surgically attached bats, we were the ones screaming, “Nooo, nooo, nooo!”
#3
Sandra Oh
The ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ star made the list thanks to her “cold bedside manner and boyish figure.”
Where You´ve Seen Her Unsexy: Grey´s Anatomy
Why She´s Unsexy: The only thing worse than a show about doctors is a show about sappy chick doctors we´re forced to watch or else our girlfriends won´t have sex with us. We´re holding Dr. McSkinny, with her cold bedside manner and boyish figure, personally responsible.
#4
Madonna
The Material Girl literally wrote the book on ‘Sex’ in the ’90s, but since then she’s turned off the magazine’s editors with her “bellyaching and rapid postnuptial deterioration.”
Where You´ve Seen Her Unsexy: On tour, at the Wailing Wall, in the pharmacy´s menopause aisle
Why She´s Unsexy: After building a personal fortune on Top 40 pornography, Madonna traded pioneering sexuality for, like other old Jewish women, self-righteous bellyaching and rapid postnuptial deterioration. Combine a Paris Hilton–like pet accessorizing fetish only for dirt-poor foreign babies with a mug that looks Euro-sealed to her skull, and you´ve got Willem Dafoe with hot flashes.
#5
Britney Spears
The pop princess, who at one time was one of the biggest sex symbols in the world, was criticized for gaining “two kids, two useless ex-husbands, and about 23 pounds of Funyun pudge.”
Where You´ve Seen Her Unsexy: Filling chicken-grease-stained sweatpants on the cover of every trashy tabloid and gossip blog on the Internet
Why She´s Unsexy: Less than five years ago, Britney had a python wrapped around her well-toned torso onstage at the VMAs. Since then, she´s lost the ability to perform, but gained two kids, two useless ex-husbands, and about 23 pounds of Funyun pudge.
So we let you to judge it yourself!
